TARTE AU CITRON CROUSTILLANT, recipe by Randall Price Aristophanes said that all dramatic stories stem from a seven basic plots. Or was it Sophocles or Aristotle? Some great dead Greek philosopher, anyway. A British writer pretended he discovered this truth..

This is an easy one, at least in that it has only three ingredients: peppers, Feta cheese, and olive oil. The Cannes Festival is a bit like a cruise on a ship that goes no where. There are all-you-can-eat buffets..

I read that Marlon Brando ate half his weight in ice cream every day, alone on a rowboat, during the filming of Mutiny on the Bounty. Perhaps I made that up, but it would account for his appearance in later..

Before I established that I was, in fact as well as spirit, an international bon vivant, I was an Ohioan. Europeans confuse that state with Iowa and Idaho, and I can understand why. At least as far as avocados go...

My gripe with the Cannes Film Festival is that they never honor my requests to let me view all the films before hand so I know if there are any inspiring food moments in the competing films to help me..